Jan 13, 2021
Hey Heifers! Since I am clearly v enlightened and one with the Universe, I took it upon myself to provide you with 30 minutes of relaxation that doesn't focus AT ALL on the current state of affairs. There are a few times where it pops up due to my stress but on the whole? A totally solid meditation. Well, aside from when my intern interrupts me worried about my mental state. So it's mostly a government coup-free meditation. Um. Enjoy?
00:00 Since everything has been so stressful lately, I figured we should do a super real, professional, totes legit meditation!
01:23 Welcome to your guided meditation for coups. We're going to try to not think about them!
03:35 First diversion: You are now a bear in a forest. A sassy, extended story begins involving your salmon and an evil canoe of rats. Namaste.
07:30 The rats abandon ship, leaving behind the Rat King they supported for oh so long.
11:11 Your guide has a breakdown.
11:50 Mmk, let’s try this again. Onto Numerology!
14:25 Your guide has a psychic vision!
15:45 Um, okay, this still isn’t working, is it? Let’s try another visual: a farmer’s market with peaches!
19:30 A dog from the farmer’s market follows you and demands you give hIM a PEACH.
22:09 This...isn’t going well. Let’s visualize scrolling through Twitter to calm us down.
26:22 Congratulations on reaching the end of your meditation. You should feel SO serene now and not have that pesky coup on your mind. Nope, not at all. Ha ha!
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You can find the show notes for this episode at www.anguseyetea.com.
I am not a health professional. I am simply someone who was diagnosed with an anxiety and depression disorder. Please talk to your friends, family, teachers, doctor, trusted human, etc. if you need help. I also have a resources page on my website that can direct you to different hotlines, therapy websites, and more at https://anguseyetea.com/resources/